“If I Didn’t Come Back, What Would You Do?”



It was a good day, too!

And the Lord said, "Oh, for fuck's sake!"

I woke up feeling good on Saturday night. Got dressed, grabbed some cheap food. On the way to my long, evil overnight shift I called LP and she seemed open to some kind to get together on Monday. Nice. Even if she flaked, I’d be at a bar I’ve been wanting to check out for a long time. And, if the Gods deemed my evil plan awesome, the Ex would have to come pick me up while I was hanging out with LP drunk on my favorite beer. Hopefully, with a face full of LP’s rack… but I digress.

And then she hits me with a text right as I was passing out:

Ex: If I didn’t come back, what would you do?

FTW: Go back to sleep.

Ex: Are you telling me to do that or is that what you would do?

FTW: It’s what I would do. Is this a serious thought?

Ex: It’s a serious consideration, except for the lease.

So this is how I got her to marry me so fast… impulse and crazy! After explaining how, in less blunt words, I’d happy deal with all the shit extricating her from this state and my life, we hit the greatest example of the rationalization hamster I’ve ever seen in this relationship.

Ex: Is this irresponsible of me?

FTW: Depends on the outcome.

Ex: Explain.

FTW: If you end up not benefiting from the decision, you’ll probably end up saying you’re irresponsible.

Ex: My next paycheck could cover my part of the divorce and the cost of sending my stuff. I don’t see how I can’t benefit from it.


To be continued…

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1 Response to “If I Didn’t Come Back, What Would You Do?”

  1. Pingback: Nostalgia, Lesbians and Irresponsibility | HarmonicaFTW 2.0

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